In 72 hours I hope to have the answers I've longed for from my doctor. For over a year now, I've been battling voice problems, and after months of popping various ineffective pills in an attempt to treat a damaged larynx (voice box), my doctor has decided it's time to "go in" and see what's happening.
Honestly, it doesn't worry me at all, but I do wonder what God is up to. I'm sure you've been there before - not quite sure about what's going to happen next. There have been times in my life where this uncertainty has pushed to the very edge of sanity, but not this time. I can't guarantee you just why, but I'd like to think that just maybe, my faith is growing. Not in the doctors or medicine (to be sure), not because I just know that God is going to "fix" everything, either. But because I really believe that He is in control, and no matter what the outcome is, He is already way ahead of me on that road.
I had someone ask me, "Kirk, what would you do if you couldn't sing anymore? Or preach like you do now? I mean, your voice is your life!" I'm sure I came off a bit flippantly (though not intending to) when I replied, "Guess it will be time for me to write!" (my profs in grad school always told me to do more of this). While it is hard to imagine what life would be like without the speaking/singing ability I have enjoyed, let's get one thing really clear: my voice is not my life...the Lord is my life!
In the midst of some uncertainty, I am absolutely certain that God knows what He is doing (and frankly, if it goes "bad," it won't be the first "bad" looking thing He's allowed in the process of bringing things much better to my life!).
Another thing I'm certain of in this time is that God is up to more than one thing that is becoming great. I've got a youth retreat this weekend (first one ever for our fledgling youth ministry) that I am convinced is going to result in life transformation for many (rain or shine). My beautiful wife, Tonya, is actually bringing the morning message Sunday (since the retreat is Sat-Sun) and while she's more than a little nervous, I know that God is going to do something great in her and through her.
Obviously, there's several opportunities for you to pray about some things here, but I want you to know that while there may appear to be a great deal of uncertainty surrounding these things, God is enabling me to live with certainty. Not because of who I am, or what I've done, but because of who He is. Whatever you may be facing right now, know that He loves you more than you can imagine, and that He has your life firmly in His hands - won't you reach out and take those hands today?
