I am preparing to do one of the very most difficult things in the world for me to do: Take a break. And I'm willing to bet that there are a number of you reading this who know exactly what I am talking about! The prospect of stepping away from the privileged responsibilities I carry as pastor & chaplain almost frightens me, as the sense of accomplishment, worth and value that I gain from these is often more important to me than I'd like to admit.
As foolish as it sounds, silly questions (I'd call them "childlike," except I doubt if a child wonders such things) like this run through my head (if only for a few moments), "Will I be less pleasing to God though I'm not serving Him next week?" "Will God be less available to me because I'm not writing a sermon, or visiting the sick or encouraging the disheartened?" And even as I ponder these and other questions, I realize how very easily I can become ensnared in one of the many traps that I regularly preach and teach about: the Performance Trap.
And then, as I reflect on the increasingly long history which God and I share, I remember just how often He has used me when I least expected it, when it seemed least likely and beyond common sense. And as usual, He begins to lovingly chide me as He reminds me that ministry has very little to do with where I am located, official titles, or well-crafted agendas. It has everything to do with being available. The truth is that even while taking a break, my life, as a "living sacrifice" (Romans 12), is, by His grace, a continual act of service - public and not so, conscious and not so. And His connection to me is only a matter of location when I realize that the only place I need to be is with Him.
Fortunately, that can happen any and everywhere. And as I prepare to "take a break" for a few days, the only thing He asks of me is to continue to include Him in those days. I may not be "punching the clock" for this time, but I dare not "punch out" of my relationship with Him. Things will be just fine without me...I don't worry about that at all (I have a great church family!). But will I be just fine without them? I need to be. And the more comfortable I am with this, the more likely it will be that God will use me somehow, somewhere, with someone in these next few days...and I won't even know it. I don't need or want to know it!
As I come to grips with this challenge, I realize that one of the best things I can receive from...and give to...the Lord, my family and my two congregations, is a refreshed, focused, relaxed, prioritized husband, father, and godly man. Which means embracing this gift, resting in His care, and humbly facing perhaps my greatest challenge yet, that of trusting in His unconditional love for me, just as I am.
